Kimberly Arnold - Making Your Body An Ally For Your Leadership
There are many dimensions of leadership, each of which contributes meaningfully to one’s effectiveness. The most challenging circumstances demand that leaders be resourceful and use all of their resources, including their bodies. This is the expertise of my guest, Kimberly Arnold. Kimberly is an expert in somatic leadership. As she describes it, it is important to understand how each of us can help our bodies act as an ally to support us, which may include shifting our own energy to be more effective, or even changing the dynamics in a room full of colleagues.
Kimberly shares some of her regular practices that help her shift from a contracted state to a more expanded state which allows for more strategic thinking and productive behaviors. She also presents some of the ways she supports groups to reduce tension and facilitate constructive conversation and issue resolution. Finally, she discusses using nature as a resource for grounding and balancing and as a source of spiritual connection.
I hope you enjoy this very practical, constructive, and inspiring conversation.
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Kimberly Arnold - Making Your Body An Ally For Your Leadership
Kimberly Arnold and I have completed this edition of the show. This has been really terrific. Thank you, Kimberly, for your energy and your wisdom.
Thank you. It was a delight to connect with you again.
I really appreciate that you shared some specific examples about how you can shift the dynamic in a room using some practices that you might describe as spiritually sourced. That’s my term. Would you use the term spiritually sourced?
I’m leaning into somatically sourced, but what’s true is we experience the world through our bodies. Even if I’m going to have a spiritual experience, it’s going to happen through my five senses.
I would submit that the body is a spiritual tool and we’re wired that way. There’s been a lot of research on this on how we’re wired for spiritual practices and things like that, but that’s another topic. For this show, I invite our audience to check out some of the specific wisdom you shared about shifting dynamics within a room with some very practical applications as well as the internal dynamics and shifting out of reactivity and shortsighted focus and getting into something that’s broader, more productive, and more inclusive. What else would you say about that?
It’s really about how you can help your body be an ally in your leadership and your engagement. It’s shifting from a place of anxiety, fear, and potentially even atrophy or being frozen to a place of connection, collaboration, and ease. Come and join us if you want to learn what it might be like if you had a little bit more ease.
Come join the conversation. Thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome back to the show. I’m really pleased to have my friend and colleague, Kimberly Arnold, on with us. Kimberly and I met several years ago at the Wisdom 2.0 Conference in San Francisco, which is a fascinating community. I invite you to check it out. Kimberly, let me allow you to introduce yourself a little bit.
Thank you. I remember that day. We even had a conversation about Aikido is what I recall. I spent over 30 years in a variety of corporate roles from being a practice leader at a professional services firm like PwC, an innovation leader in healthcare, and then a global healthcare industry leader at Salesforce. In the course of that success, I lost both of my parents. I let the stress of work impact my health. I’m human. There were times that I had some reactive responses that maybe weren’t so skillful. A couple of years ago, I dove into somatic practices. I had the honor to study with world-renowned teachers in Tai Chi and Feldenkrais.
Also, Aikido as I recall.
100%. That was probably my primary one. What I’m doing is I’ve founded a new group that’s focused on somatic leadership. It’s about how we blend what we know already of how to be an effective leader but bring our body in as an ally in the process.
There’s so much to talk about with what you’re saying. We’ll do our best to keep this to a manageable-sized conversation. When we met in 2015, you were still at Salesforce. It’s fascinating, your background, because of the different environments between a professional services firm like Blue Shield, which is private but not as private as, for example, Salesforce. Three different cultures I would imagine as well and maybe ways of working. I look forward to hearing more about that.
You have a lot to share in terms of what works and how it can work. You have stories to tell as well. I’ve heard you share them, and I look forward to you sharing some more here. This show is about the intersection of these deep spiritual components of human beings and the business world where the hypothesis is we need these dimensions more than ever.
Spiritual Dimensions
We are talking about what those dimensions are, how they play out at work, how we have seen them be successful, and how we can promote a healthy conversation without dogma, separation, judgment, or fear, but to be practical in terms of what we’re doing. My sense is that your wisdom is full of that. If I could restart the conversation after this little preamble, for you, what does it mean for you to consider spiritual dimensions and how those spiritual dimensions come into the workplace?
To your point, it’s a big question. You pointed to a really critical part of what’s happening. We are all running around with very reactive nervous systems for the most part. The general, even societal, conversation about all the things to be afraid of, even our marketing techniques are all fear of missing out, fear of losing out, or fear of not being enough of something. What that does collectively is create constriction in the body.
A lot of the ways that I blend what’s happening is through somatics, finding ways to help regulate the nervous system and move from contraction to an open state of being. From that state of being is where we have access to the spiritual realm. From that state of being is where I can connect with the wisdom of the trees.
There have been many times when I was in a challenging spot and I thought to myself, “What if I were going to be like water? What might that be?” For me, fundamentally, spirituality is shifting from a consciousness that is bigger, deeper, and broader than my own. It’s moving from the place of me and ego to the state of we and the collective group body.
Spirituality is shifting from a bigger, deeper, and broader consciousness than your own. It is your journey from a place of ego and towards a state of collectiveness.
That’s a great, practical working definition. I love it.
The ways that I saw that play out in business were really fascinating. We were talking before about how you can come into a meeting space. If somebody’s coming into that room agitated, that energy is going to almost spread like wildfire through the space. Particularly if you’re the leader and you’re coming in agitated, that’s pretty much setting the tone.
We often talk about how your emotions are contagious. What do you want people to catch from you? It’s a little bit of a cliche, but it’s true. Please, continue.
There’s this whole part of like, “What resources can I leverage in the moment that that might be happening?” I’ll share a story about how I saw this play out once in one of my roles at Salesforce. In my first role there, I was in a position to be supporting pretty high-profile global customers. I was their first line of support if anything went wrong.
It was a typical day. I walk into the client’s lunchroom, and in a matter of minutes, I get a text and a phone call, and somebody personally comes up to me and says, “We need you upstairs immediately.” They have me take my lunch. I show up in a conference room and there are ten leaders sitting at a table looking very distressed. We had put out a pre-release and they had eight issues that were business-stopping issues happening in the software. I can say that at that moment, I got to practice one of my practices, which is grounding and centering.
For any of us, what we know is that under that stress point, we don’t rise to our expectations. We fall to our level of training. In the Aikido practice inspired by Wendy Palmer, she has this practice throughout the day on how to ground and center. I would take a moment. I took an inhale, imagined clouds in between the vertebrae of my spine, exhaled, and imagined that all the stress was rolling off, relaxing my chest, shoulders, and belly. I then look to broaden my perspective, take in the room, and be like, “What’s happening here?”
Under stress points, we don’t rise to our expectations but fall to our level of training.
Even as you described that grounding and centering, I feel the energy shift in this conversation because you’re bringing that forward here. Thank you for that. Please, continue.
I went from there to, “Now I need to broaden my perspective.” Under a moment of stress, we tend to put our attention on the stress point, the thing that’s coming in to hit us. At that moment, I was broadening my chest. When you’re sitting with people in a room, you can do it by even putting your shoulders in the back of the chair or whatever it is, but there’s something to go, “How can I now be open to hearing what’s happening?” We did that. We heard all the issues.
I’ll fast forward ahead to say even though we then got them connected with customer support and we got those things resolved, they were related to changes that the customer had made on their side. Regardless of that, that incident had their global internal audit come back to our head of quality assurance and say, “We’ve got a dozen issues that we want you to look at.”
We would have internal audits happening all the time, so that wasn’t that big a deal, but this was a really contentious one. They were going to come face-to-face to work through these issues. Candidly, both sides said, “That guy’s a jerk. I don’t think this is going to go well.” There was a confrontational energy coming in.
I was the person hosting the day. What I was aware of was when we were under stress, if I came in concerned about that confrontation, that was going to set the energy tone. I went through my grounding practices. I went through the space, but then, I also thought, and this also comes from my Aikido practice from Wendy, “What are the qualities that I want to have in this space for this conversation? What will make this work?” I spent time physically in the room where they were going to meet and was imagining and understanding connection and collaboration.
That was before they came into the room. You were in the room and you were visualizing ahead what was going to be helpful in this situation.
That’s right. I wasn’t really managing the conversation that day. There was a clear agenda. They were going to go back and forth. I was there holding the energetics of what was happening. While they both came in like, “This is going to be a nightmare,” we had a collaborative day. Beyond that, about two years later, those two leaders, the head of the internal audit and the head of quality assurance co-presented at our annual customer conference and shared how the learning that they had with each other not only created a stronger partnership but created stronger operations on both sides.
That is a great example of a healthy constructive conflict that didn’t deteriorate into some nasty, negative, destructive swirl. That’s wonderful and interesting. These were the two people who were like, “That guy’s a jerk.”
That’s right.
When I hear you describing what you did and how you did it in the impact, it’s very practical. It’s physical. There’s a physical dimension to this. That’s the somatic piece. Somatic is body, correct?
Yes.
It’s the soma. It’s very practical, physical, and tangible what you’ve done. At the same time, it’s aspirational. That's my word. I see it as aspirational. I see it as visioning. It’s intangible. You’re talking about clouds and vertebrae. You’re talking about the energy of the space. These are intangible things yet practical and helpful.
I used to call them OSMs, the Oh Shit Moments. The part back to the conversation of spirituality, the way that I know how to access those things is because I’ve made it my practice to practice them. There were plenty of times when it wasn’t my default to ground and center or raise my gaze. I had the sweaty palms and the shallow breathing like any of us would. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Atomic Habits. I’ve been following that to refine my morning practices. All those things that you go, “I know it would be good if I did this thing,” I’ve been following his habit-stacking to get it all in. It does make it easier.
Ally For Leadership: Focus on refining your morning practices and atomic habits. Let them stack every single day, and things will be easier for you.
I’ve heard Rick Hansen talk about this as turning from states to traits to repaving some of these neural pathways and habituating some of these great behaviors. That’s wonderful. The way you’re describing this is super practical and super helpful. They come from this deeper spiritual place as we would define it. Some other people would say, “I don’t think about this as spiritual.” As I always say, “Call it whatever you want.”
The fact is we’re meeting at this watering hole called business meetings and business interactions. How are we engaging with one another? What results do I get? It sounds like with these practices on shifting the dynamics, you’re able to bring forward some of these qualities for the benefit of whomever you’re serving at the time.
Inner Shift
That’s what I’m doing. I am working with leaders and teams to know how to make those shifts. I was invited into the facilitation of three C-suite folks. There were three key investors who were at a huge point of conflict. What was there was an opportunity to really help them all listen more deeply to what they were committed to and what their shared values were.
We met together at what ended up being under an oak tree. We were sitting outside. We wanted the spaciousness. I started with a pile of rocks in the middle of the space. I did pre-meetings with everyone, so I knew there was a lot of contention coming in. I had given them a prompt ahead of time like, “How do you want to show up today? What might get in the way?” Prior to us starting, I had them each take a rock, go walk around the space, and put down with the rock, lay down with the rock, or whatever it is that might have gotten in the way. It is letting it go and coming back to start the day. It shifted the energy.
Did they share about what that was and what they were putting down and leaving behind? I’m curious.
We didn’t explicitly ask them to. The contentions were visible enough that it probably would’ve been pretty obvious what that was. They also had gotten this as a prompt of what value they were bringing in for the day that they were going to hold for themselves and for the team. They then openly shared, “This is the value that I’m holding that we’re going to carry together.”
Was there a commonality in those values? Maybe there was at the end of the day, or was there at the beginning of the day?
What happened was everybody had a unique one, but they were very complimentary. For me, I bring the blending of these practices to shift the energy of the container in the space that you’re going to engage inside of. That was the beginning of the day. Six hours later, we walked away with a plan and things to do next. I am happy to say that the group is moving forward much more collaboratively now than they were at the time.
Advice To Younger Self
You’ve been through different leadership roles. You’ve some senior leadership roles at PwC, Blue Shield, and then Salesforce. I’m curious to know. I’m putting you on the spot a little bit, but I know you can handle it. What would you offer to your younger self as a high-level leader in those environments to bring in some of the awareness that you have? You’re coming at it, I’m observing anyway, from some different level of consciousness that’s super helpful, very practical, rooted, and anchored. For example, you’re a practice leader at PwC. What advice would you have for yourself? How would you hold yourself and advise yourself?
It’s a gorgeous question. Believe me, I’ve rethought that so many times.
Not from a space of regret, but from a space of wisdom.
This is what would be available. What I know is that if I feel like I need to move or speak with urgency, it’s time to pause.
That is counterintuitive. With our nervous system, we’re being driven. We’re reactive. We’re moving. It’s like, “We got to go now,” and that’s the time we need to pause.
That’s right.
Talk about practice. That’s beautiful.
At the moment of, “I got to pick up the phone,” or, “I got to,” something, you could take 1 breath, inhale at the count of 4, pause for a moment, and exhale at the count of 5 or 6. If you do that for an entire minute, it will help clear the cortisol or stress hormone from your system. The cortisol or stress hormone takes the blood from your brain, puts it into your big muscles, and says, “Get ready to run.” If you can clear that, you can start to get the blood back to your brain and have more access to strategic thinking and a broader perspective. It’s shifting from that point of anxiety and urgency to thoughtfulness and possibility.
We can redirect what our brains are telling us to do.
It’s faster to do it through the body. Wendy used to always say, “The body always wins.” A lot of what we explore in somatic coaching and facilitation with groups is noticing that our thoughts are going, the emotions are going, and the body’s doing something else. How many times have you ever been in a meeting and somebody says something that didn’t go over well and everyone’s immediately looking down? Immediately, everybody’s bodies slump. At that moment, put the clouds between your vertebrae, reach out, stretch, and broaden the perspective. There’s more available.
What I hear you describing with the example of, “He’s a jerk,” is you’re shifting the dynamic within the room. As I hear you talk about taking deep breaths, inhaling to 4, and exhaling to 6 hopefully for a full minute, you’re shifting the dynamics. Those are the internal dynamics, thereby influencing the external dynamics. I love how you described that very practically. I know that you describe yourself as a transformation strategist. These are transformation strategies. Thank you for giving us some golden nuggets even in a short amount of time. That’s exactly what this is.
A Cup By The Bed
That’s right. You had asked me a question, “What’s one practical tip that people could take away for their day?” I want to share with you one of my daily practices that has been way more potent than I thought it would be. That is I keep a cup by my bed. In the morning, I turn it up, take a moment, and consider, “What is it that I’m welcoming into my day?” It may be the qualities that I want to bring into the day. It may be something that I’m looking to achieve for the day, an outcome that I want to create, an intention that I have, or whatever that is. I leave the cup sitting up all day long. Right before I turn out the light at night, I take a moment, offer gratitude, and reflect on the day. How did it go? What worked? What would be even better? In order to turn off my brain, I pour it out, put it back face down, and sleep.
You say, “This day is done. I no longer need to carry anything from this day. It is out.”
Let it go.
Closing Words
That’s lovely and beautiful. Thank you so much for that. I love that. Perhaps this would be a good place to close this part of our conversation. I know we’ll pick this up at another time. Is there anything else?
There’s one exciting thing I want to share. One of the commitments that I have is that I really want to encourage us collectively to have a conversation about the power of the body and have it be our ally. I started a weekly series on LinkedIn. I do a small video posting every Monday. It’s called Micro Shift Monday. It will be a sample of one of these practices. It’s an invitation to try it on and see how it’s going. I’ll have different folks present practices each week. I want to help us have a collective conversation about the wisdom in the body and how we can bring that wisdom into leadership.
There are so many practical applications for this as you’re outlining. I could see the Micro Shift Monday developing into a community, a community of sharing best practices and otherwise. What a beautiful initiative. That’s great. I look forward to checking it out, which should be right around the time we drop this episode. We’ll see.
That’s great. Thank you so much for the opportunity.
Thank you. I look forward to continuing the conversation. I have known some of what you’ve been working on. I love this conversation because, in addition to educating whoever may be reading this and inspiring as it has for me, I get to know you better and learn more about what you’re doing. I’m grateful. Thank you.
Thank you. Have a good one.
Thanks.
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